Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
