morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
