there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
there is glitter all over my balls
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
