then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
