Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
