Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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