Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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