that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
