He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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