it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
