Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
