It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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