If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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