never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
