How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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