Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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