yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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