I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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