My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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