I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
