I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
