Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
