oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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