the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
