i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
