the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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