I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
