Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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