He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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