I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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