Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
