Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
