Im at strip club and am horny
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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