You really coming over, don't trick.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
