I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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