It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
