you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
