She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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