i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
