I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
