eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
