Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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