Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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