dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
