so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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