Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There's always time for handjobs
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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