we're blogging at a bar
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
