TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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