the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
