So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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