We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
