I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
